Thursday, March 29, 2012

Imaginations Made Into Reality~*

“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.” ~Samuel Johnson

I’m getting really excited about my upcoming vacation. It’s been quite the challenge, saving the money, securing the time off, finishing all my current projects at work (early in some instances), finding subs for my on ground teaching, finding time to pack, managing my leadership roles in advance - so I don’t have to check my email every two minutes, and much much more. Let’s just summarize it by saying: a lot of planning and re-planning came into play.

I already know it’s worth it though, just from watching Nina… and her excitement build up… she’s about to burst I think. She just can’t wait to meet her cousins and aunts on Zach’s side of the family. It’s been a decade since he’s seen them, not to mention Nina and I have never met them (with the exception of Internet connection).

Obviously, she can’t wait to meet the Princesses and Fairies at Disney World as well… I can only imagine how the adventure will be in her eyes. I remember my visits to Disney as a child vividly; I remember all of our family trips… the drives were long… but definitely worth it.
I think it’s going to be quite the journey, taking our dogs, driving 31 hours, seeing my dad in a baseball tournament for seniors.

Then there’s the whole purpose of the trip… Reigniting the vows I made five years ago. Ironically I recall a quote by John Steinbeck, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” I don’t know if I ever thought I would get married and but once you make that commitment you can’t give up – ever. No matter what... but I have to say if five years seems like forever, forever surely is eternity. I love you Zach.

Listening to: “Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel... this love is difficult, but it's real... don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess... It's a love story, baby just say yes."

Anyway, I’m scatterbrained with excitement – I can’t wait to catalog this journey. I know I will remember it for the rest of my life.

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” ~Henry Miller

Monday, March 26, 2012

Which "L" will you pick? Love or Loneliness

"This love is difficult but it's real" - the song Love Story by Taylor Swift.

I fear loneliness, everyone has a worst case scenario and mine is I will become lost in my own world, losing my memory, not being able to remember all the beautiful memories and be memory-less.

Those memories are the motivation that keeps my dreams alive.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Overwhelmed and I know it!!

So I’ve been planning for my vacation in my spare time, which has turned out to be somewhat of a nightmare. Nothing seems to be easy, my dentist over charged my credit card – I’m desperately trying to stay ahead of the cycling debt. I have done my best to keep my vacation off of my credit, because I’m still paying off last year’s vacation. I don’t want to make that mistake again.

I was supposed to complete a lot of online work, including preparing for a version change to my online Humanities course with the University of Phoenix. I was also supposed to write my guidance for my new Ashford courses, beginning about a week after my return from vacation.

What I discovered is as much as most of my work is not difficult for me to do, I have become a procrastinator. I don’t know when this transition happened because it’s completely opposed to the way I’ve always worked. I was the student done with my final projects, two weeks before the end of my classes.

Now I find myself struggling to plan my next move 24 hours (or less) in advance of when I need to achieve my target.

No wonder, I am a pot full of anxiety. If I don’t get these things done over vacation, I will have to go back to pulling off some overnighters. I’m definitely over the age of successfully pulling off overnighters.

I know I’m overloaded… between taking care of my husband’s adventures with applying for disability, to being involved in too many professional organizations, to trying to be super mom, to trying to be the best professor to get noticed, to trying to make room for my religious faith, to all my career endeavors at the University of Phoenix….

I know I need a break, but the sad part of that is knowing, my vacation is really not going to be a vacation – it’s going to be a week, where I have to do all the online work I procrastinated on during spring break.

Sigh. End of short rant.